Secrets
by vampangel33
Summary: The Reagan's have tried to keep a large part of Jamie's childhood a secret not wanting the information to be used against them and to stop Jamie from being who he wants to be but it comes back and this time others know, putting not only Jamie in danger but the entire Reagan family.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer I do not own Blue Bloods. I do not know if there is a disease that is actually like this, I am not a doctor and Google can only go so far and please go easy on me and play along. **

Jamie's POV

Another cough shakes my body, I lean against the bathroom door for support dizziness over coming me, making the entire hall spin. I fall to the floor vomiting. I lay there closing my eyes silently praying for it all to go away. I had work in less than an hour and I yet to take a shower. I close my eyes resting my head in between my knees waiting for the room nausea to fade.

I stay like that for what feels like ages. Finally I get to my feet walking in the bathroom leaving the door open in case the steam made me dizzy again.

I lean up against the shower walls letting the warm water run down my body. I close my eyes letting the warm water comfort my aching body. After ten short minutes I get out drying off and getting dressed. I was relieved that the dizziness had transformed into a pounding headache instead something I could solve with pain killers.

I leave the vomit in the hall not having time to clean it or the energy. I head past my car not wanting to take the risk of driving. A part of me argued that if I felt I could not drive then I should not be on duty but I ignore it deciding that if I still feel sick when I reach the station then I would ask for the day off but if not I'll go on with my day.

I walk into the station with even my headache just a ghost now of what it was.

"About time you got here. I was expecting to see you half an hour early like usual." Renzulli greets me but his smile disappears when he takes in my appearance. "Reagan you don't look so great. You're as pale as a clown's face and just about as scary to." Renzulli halfheartedly jokes concern in his eyes.

I try to focus on Serge's face but everything was spinning again, I lose my footing causing me to stumble forward and into Serge.

"Jesus kid you're burning up." I could feel Renzulli put his hand against my forehead but I was to dizzy to concentrate on him.

"It was just a headache before." I whimper weakly my own voice surprising me.

"It's definitely more than a headache now. I'm going to call Danny to come get you. Don't move." Serge orders leaving me on the floor leaning against a wall with my head in between my knees.

I could feel eyes on me, all of them seeming to debate on what to do. I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I rise to my feet using the wall for support I head off to the locker room for some privacy and to check to see if it was there again.

Renzulli's POV

Danny had picked up on the first ring saying he would be on his way. I head back inside to find the spot I had left Jamie in empty.

"Where the hell did he go?" I ask all the other people in the room that were obviously being entertained by the entire situation.

"He went into the locker room." Janko speaks up heading over to me.

I head in furious at the kid for not listening to a simple order and at the other officers for not stopping him.

I find him setting on the floor, locker open something resting in his hands and tears running down his cheeks.

I get on my knees beside him taking the piece of paper from his hands.

"Twelfth one this month always hand written and always in my locker. The other ones are tucked in the sweat shirt pocket." He tells me motioning to his locker.

I stand up looking into his locker finding eleven more, all of them talking about how great Jamie is.

"Why didn't you say something earlier?" I ask getting down beside him.

"Not important." He offers his eyes drifting shut.

I sigh getting to my feet just as Danny Reagan barges in.

Danny's POV

I find Jamie on the floor fast asleep and as pale as a ghost.

"Did you know your brother was getting love notes?" Renzulli asks me as I get down beside Jamie finding that he had a temperature.

"Love notes? Like stalker obsessed?" I ask not really paying attention as one of my worst fears was playing out before me.

"Pretty much, Danny they even mention where he lives in here." I hear Renzulli say but I have my phone out calling my father, focusing on the problem at hand.

"Danny? What's going on?" my dad answers already probably sensing trouble.

"Dad I think Jamie is sick again, like when he was a kid. How likely did the doctor say it was for it to come back?" I ask getting down next to my brother's mouth listening to his breathing. It was quick and labored like I feared.

"You think it's come back? Where are you?" I could hear the fear in my father's voice and I could completely understand knowing what Jamie had been through last time.

"I'm at the 12th in the locker room with him. Dad, should I take him to the hospital?"

"Wait there I want to see for myself if it really did come back and if it is waiting won't bother him." My dad hands up with that leaving me to face Renzulli.

"Danny Jamie is being stalked!" Renzulli yells throwing pieces of paper at me. I pick them up quietly reading through them all of them blabbing about Jamie, talking about everything Jamie. I stop reading when my eyes land on the newest one.

_We know you're sick but Jamie dear, we will help you in every way possible, after all that is what families do._

However 'we' is they knew about Jamie being sick when he was younger, something we worked so hard to keep quiet for all these years not wanting the wrong people to find out and use it against us. Jamie was born with it and battled it for 8 years until it suddenly disappeared, the doctors told my parents that it still would exist in his system but it should not rise back up again like it did before. The doctors were wrong and somebody else knew it too.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer I do not own Blue Bloods.**

**Alright in this story I have to adjust their ages a little. There is a 15 year difference between Danny and Jamie, 13 years between Erin and Jamie and 10 years between Joe and Jamie. Also their mother passed away of cancer shortly after Jamie's birth, please just play along. Thanks for reading and please review it is highly appreciated.**

Danny's POV

I wait anxiously for my father to arrive, carefully reading each letter looking for anything that will give the sender away. Jamie's head rests on my shoulder as he sleeps his breathing ruff and every once in a while he would break out into a coughing fit but he wouldn't wake.

"Do you want to tell me what's going on Reagan?" Renzulli asks setting on the floor across from me.

"My family's worst nightmare." I grumble back in response not meeting his eyes unsure of how much information I could trust him with.

"What do you mean?" Renzulli asks just as the locker room door opens and in walks my dad, Detective Baker, Garret, Maria and Janko.

"What are they doing here?" I ask motioning to the four people that were obviously not family.

Dad hands me a letter that is carefully folded from his pocket wordlessly his expression grave.

I unfold it scanning over the typed letter. Each line making my heart rate picks up more.

_Your family secrets are slowly being spilled and are coming back to haunt not only you but your entire family. Old enemies are paying big money for these great secrets, who knew the royalty of NYPD had so many enemies?_

_I am not to blame for Jamie getting sick again, that was just pure luck. Funny how fate is playing in my favor?_

_Your youngest has made many admirers and haters in his few years._

_Be sure to tell Erin to watch over Nicki, we wouldn't want to lose another child._

_Danny's unfair ways are coming back to haunt him, along with ghost from the past. Who knew the dead could talk?_

_Mary's remains are dug up revealing more countless secrets, some sure to hurt certain family members more than others, and here I thought families were honest with each other._

_Henry's mistake is coming back and it will effect more than him. _

_Oh and Frank these are only the few things I know. _

_I will get my revenge and I have had much help from all different areas in the city, all of them wanting pain brought to your family. _

_Just a fair warning; this is only the beginning of your problems. _

_Best Wishes,_

_An Old Friend._

"Dad, who knows about this?" I ask afraid of the answer.

"Only the people in this room will know about this with the exception of the family. Garret, Baker you both already know. The rest of you this stays in this room. I do not want this uttered to anybody; it could mean my family's lives. I am only telling you this because you all have been there for us and our much like family. I need to know that I still have people that I can trust." My dad says meeting everybody's eyes all of them nodding in understanding.

Jamie's form suddenly starts to shake as more coughs move through him. Baker steps forward with a blanket I hadn't realized she had been carrying. Dad gratefully takes it wrapping it around Jamie to keep the cool locker room air from getting to him. He sets beside Jamie rubbing his back as the coughs slowly fade to be replaced with his labored breathing.

Dad silently holds Jamie close to him like Jamie was once again 8 years old with Dad running him to the ER frequently, holding him when he woke up coughing and vomiting anything he had ate, feeding him the easiest foods to digest hoping that his body would keep it down, holding him when the fevers came along with the nightmares and the head aches that made Jamie to dizzy to walk that Dad would carry him upstairs tucking him safely into bed. My heart ached knowing that it all had returned.

"When Jamie was born he wasn't the healthiest baby. He was born in a time that was difficult for us as a family. I was working on a case that hit close to home and Mary was slowly dying and Jamie was it, her body could take no more. She knew when she found out that she was pregnant that she wouldn't be able to carry on with treatment yet she refused to terminate the pregnancy, knowing that it might as well have been a death sentence. During this time other things were going on at work and at home. Things I can't get myself to talk about right now. Funny how 26 years have gone by but yet it is like it happened yesterday. Of all Mary's pregnancy's this was the one she treasured the most. She went into to labor a month early….three months later she took her last breath but not before asking me to make sure _our_ youngest, _our baby_ stayed safe."

"Jamie was sick from the day he was born, the doctors didn't understand any more than I did. They told me they have not seen anything like it. They thought maybe he would grow out of it. The flu like symptoms, the problems with the lungs, the fevers, all of it, but it stuck with him for 8 entire years until one week he slowly got better and not getting sick again like so many times before. The doctors again didn't understand. They could still find traces of it in his system but nothing like before, nothing that could hurt him again."

"During those eight years things happened. Things that we had wanted to keep quiet in fear of somebody taking these things using it against us, blackmailing us. I can only tell you my secrets the rest are up to the others. I kept Jamie quiet. Him being sick and everything, after I asked Mary to do me that small favor that took her life, I knew how it would look…" Dad goes quiet tears of guilt in his eyes.

"Commissioner, what exactly did you do?" Janko asks so involved in the story she no longer cared who she was talking to.

"Before I got involved in an undercover case, it was for a big mob family at the time. I got close with the mob leaders daughter, Emily. I couldn't help but fall for her she reminded me so much of my Mary when she was younger and healthier, a part of me couldn't resist. Emily wanted a baby but she couldn't carry one. If I told her no she would leave me and turn the entire family against me, we were so close to getting them I couldn't say no. I asked Mary. She agreed no hesitation. I told Emily that Mary was sick and that she was dying, she would be gone shortly after birth making it impossible for her to tell anybody. Emily agreed thrilled." My dad doesn't meet my eyes tears in his eyes.

"Dad, are you saying Jamie isn't mom's son? He's yours and some sluts?! You do realize that this killed mom, right? I should have known mom was not healthy enough to _make a baby_ she barely made it through the pregnancy. I don't understand why she loved him so much if he wasn't even hers." I blurt out bitterly.

"Your mother had wanted another child for so long. This gave her the chance. She knew Jamie would not EVER go to his biological mother so she loved him like her own maybe even more so, wanting to make sure that he would become nothing like his biological mother and slowly as time went on I was able to convince myself and the entire family that Jamie was Mary's son. He grew up to be so much like Mary. His eyes even the same color. I was lucky that Jamie inherited most of his traits from my side and yes before you ask I made sure that he was Emily's, because I couldn't believe it, he instantly reminded me of Mary. Blood test showed that Mary's blood did not run through his veins only Reagan and Macon. I have even had modern test run same results." I stare at my father hatred filling me.

"Does Jamie know?" Janko asks her eyes on Jamie's sleeping form.

"No and the hard thing is his mother has made various attempts at getting to him. She was furious when she found out Jamie would be growing up in a family full of cops….Danny your mother died asking me to take care of and protect _her _son. She didn't care whose blood he had, he was her son and always would be….." My dad was silently crying unable to hold back tears.

"How all knew?"

"Your grandparents, myself, your mother and the medical staff that treated your mother and Jamie and the Macon family were the only ones that knew. Don't hate your brother for this, he didn't ask your mother I did. I killed you mother." Dad bites back sobs turning his head away from us clutching Jamie closer to him.

"You didn't kill her dad, mom agreed and Jamie's still my brother. I love him just the same if not more because I know mom loved him and you loved him even though you knew he tore are family apart only to keep the family together." I reply honestly my love for Jamie not at all lessening if any my protectiveness towards him increased.

As if reminding us of his presence Jamie coughs a wet cough, I instantly grab a garbage bin holding it by him as Dad sets him up leaning him towards the bin as Jamie vomits.

"They know that Jamie isn't Mary's? How? Is whoever this is possibly a Macon?" Maria speaks up for the first time.

"It's a possibility along with tons of others. We need to get him to Dr. Kent. He's the only doctor I trust right now and he was there the first time." Dad says getting to his feet clearing all emotion from his voice as he helps a conscious Jamie to his feet.

As I follow my dad and the others out I knew I would never look at any of my family members the same again, but what I learned did not lessen my respect or love for them if anything it raised it.


	3. Chapter 3

**I don't own Blue Bloods like usual.**

**Sorry to those of you that are confused, please review and let me know if you don't understand I will be more than happy to private message you an explanation and answer any of your questions, if you like the story, are bored or if you honestly think this story is a little too different please review. Thanks, now on with the story.**

Jamie's POV

_It was dark, I couldn't even see my hand in front of my face, but I could still hear their voices._

"_How's the baby?" a female voice asks her voice sending fear through my veins. It was familiar but foreign; it was like I was supposed to know her but couldn't remember her. _

"_He's fine, healthy as can be. She is dying though she will be able to make it till he is healthy enough to survive without her but not much longer after that." My father's voice sends waves of assurance through me letting me know I was safe _

"_Good, we won't need her later any way. She's merely a surrogate. I have named him! Jameson. Isn't it a lovely name? I can't wait for him to be born, to hold him in my arms, my baby." The woman adoringly replies._

"_Emily, you can't have him I am a police officer and you're under arrest." My dad says turning on the woman._

"_He's mine." I see a flash and a gunshot rings out. I yell, beg for it not to be my father but all that comes out is a cry of an infant, I was helpless, useless._

My eyes open setting jolt up right, I am coated in sweat and gasping for air. I was not in a hospital like I had expected but at my father's home in my old bedroom. I take calming breaths trying to stop the panic. My body ached and each breath felt like I was trying to run a mile.

Finally I catch my breath and listen to my surroundings. Downstairs I can hear multiple voices talking in hushed tones. I get to my feet using the dresser for support as I try to steady myself. I slowly make my way to the bathroom jumping in the shower leaving the door open just a crack so the steam won't get to me. The hot water soothes my tense, aching muscles. I close my eyes leaning against the side pondering over my dream.

I didn't understand it at all. It almost sounded like my father had another child with someone, had someone surrogate the child. The women sounded like she was insane, it had to be just a dream.

I dress in a pair of jogging pants and a t-shirt heading downstairs quietly. My father, Danny, Gramps and a man I recognize as Dr. Kent talking in the kitchen sipping coffee. I linger on the stairwell longer listening in to what they were saying when I heard them say my name.

"He does deserve to know Frank; he's not a child anymore." Dr. Kent says making me step back behind a wall so I am not seen.

"You're a doctor and a friend not a therapist!" Gramps snaps in reply, Dr. Kent obviously walking on touchy ground.

"As a friend I am saying this, Frank I know you and your family are going through something, I don't know what but I see the tension, don't make the mistake of ruining your relationship with your youngest. He will find out, maybe tomorrow, maybe not for another 10 years but he will find out and he should find out by his father. I haven't told you this but Emily has come to me and various other Macon family members, asking questions, questions about Jamie's health, his records, wanting updates constantly of his health, wanting to know immediately when he is sent to a hospital. Frank at some point they are going to stop asking those involved and go right straight to him, if you want to protect him, tell him the truth, don't throw the trust you have with him out. Have a good night and Frank I am always here for your family and I would never say anything to anybody but just know that if he asks me questions I will not hide the truth. Good night." Dr. Kent's chair slides across the floor and I hear the front door slam closed. I linger for a couple moments and then head down the rest of the stairs.

"Look who's up! How ya doin kid?" Danny greets me with a pat on the back and an honest smile.

"I'm fine; I have a headache and drained but fine." I reply grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge sipping it, trying to act like I had not heard their conversation with Dr. Kent even though I wanted answers.

"How much did you hear?" Dad asks getting my attention.

"Um I just heard talking. Dr. Kent was here?" I ask trying to brush it off reaching to make myself some oatmeal.

"Here let me get that you set back and relax." Gramps steps in taking the oatmeal from my hands.

"How about some chicken noodle soup instead? You were sick earlier; you should probably start out with something light." Gramps says putting the oatmeal away grabbing the ingredients for chicken noodle soup instead.

"Thanks." I reply with a whisper looking at the floor not wanting to meet my father's eyes.

"Jamie, you never could lie to me. What did you really hear?" my dad asks.

"Who is Emily Macon?" I ask cutting right straight to the chase.

"An old friend, she was around before you were born." Dad replies nodding like he had to make sure it was the truth.

A part of me wanted to believe him but it just didn't add up, why would an old friend ask about my medical records?

"Why did she ask Dr. Kent about me?" I ask setting down at the table my legs aching.

"I'm not sure Jamie. But I will look into it." Dad promises.

I nod trying to decide if it was the truth or not.

"Here's your soup. Doc said you can return to work as soon as tomorrow." Gramps sets a bowl of soup before me taking a seat across from me.

"He also said that if you start to feel sick again to immediately go home and call him." Danny adds looking pointedly at me. "Oh and take these every day." Danny tosses a container of pills at me, which I quickly grab.

"What are they?" I ask turning the bottle over in my hand.

"Some meds to help prevent the symptoms from rising up again." Danny replies. "One daily right when you wake up." He happily chirps in.

"Thanks." I grumble setting the meds on the table turning back to my soup.

"You'll be staying here until we can figure out who is stalking you, just as a precaution. Danny already grabbed you a bag of stuff from your house." Dad says.

I nod quietly something telling me that there was much more going on than my stalker.

Frank's POV

I watch Jamie eat, his movements still stiff. His questions made me nervous. A part of me begging to tell him the truth but yet I was afraid, afraid of Jamie's reaction, I couldn't lose another son, especially not to something I did. I would tell him, but first I needed time.

I head up to my office after wishing everybody a good night. I open my safe taking out the file that had Jamie's name neatly printed on it. I had taken note of all things having to do with the Macon family over the years. Both of the DNA test I had on Jamie in here confirming Emily as his mother, all the Macon's records, where they lived, who was in prison and who was free. Wanting to know if my son was ever in danger. I check the last prison record of them Emily's youngest brother and her sister were the only ones left in prison. Her sister was going to be released tomorrow. I tuck away the file back safely in the safe.

I turn back to the letter that sat on my table, with the one I received today. It was full of threats. Not just threats to spill secrets but blood lots of blood. Three threats, one targeting my entire family threatening to kill and expose everything, another wanting my youngest and the last an old enemy wanting what she thought belonged to her.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer I do not own Blue Bloods.

Jamie's POV

"Back to work already, Reagan?" Renzulli greets me when I walk into roll call the following morning exhausted.

"You're complaining? Here I thought you liked my company, I'm offended." I greet in a response with a smile.

"It's always nice to see your smiling face." Renzulli laughs.

I smile to myself shaking my head. I take a seat next to Janko, secretly missing the Serge's teasing it he reminded me of family.

"How are you?" Janko asks turning from another officer to look at me.

"Fine, it was just a weird day yesterday." I reply just as roll call begins kicking off what would turn out to be a very long day.

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

I run after the thief with Janko running the other way to cut him off.

I weave my way through the crowded street steading a young woman before she could fall over after the culprit bumps into her before I take off again right behind the thief.

Janko emerges from around the corner in front of us making the thief turn and head into the oncoming traffic. I follow chase frustrated that Janko didn't follow my order and wait for the thief to round the corner.

Breaks squeal as the thief runs in front of a speeding car. I grab him taking advantage of his shock, hauling him up onto the side walk cuffing him.

Janko pulls up with the cruiser as I hold our unwilling suspect.

I put him in the back seat before sliding upfront slamming the door a little too hard, my frustration with my partner getting to me.

"I'm sorry I didn't listen. I just really wanted to get involved in the chase." Janko doesn't meet my eyes as we head to the station shame radiating off from her.

"Just listen next time. I tell you things for a reason not to be a dick. I'm your TO for a reason." I reply unable to stay mad at her. "You get paper duty though." I tell her with a smile getting a groan in response and a flash of a grateful smile.

We head into the station Janko going to fill out the paper work with the cursing thief in tow. Taking advantage of the time I had I head to the unused computer, unable to hold my curiosity; I type Emily Macon into the system, praying for something to pop up.

The only name that shows up is restricted. I exit back out of the system glaring at the screen. I head back out to find Janko just finishing the paper work with an accomplished look. I head over in her direction, anxious to get back on the streets, only to be stopped hearing my name. I turn my attention landing on a young woman that appeared to be in her mid-twenties anxiously talking to two officers begging for farther access into the station.

"Please just let me talk to Officer Reagan." She pleads tucking her light brown hair behind her ear, beaming up at them through her eye lashes offering the rookie officer a smile.

"Let me find him first." The rookie already knowing I was here head straight away in my direction.

"There's a woman here calling herself Mary Joseph Francis asking for you. I'm really don't think she is who she says she is. Do you want me to send her on her way?" Uncertainty on the rookie's face.

Mary Joseph Francis? That didn't even sound right and they all just happen to be names of my family members? Not wanting to be rude I thank the officer and tell him I'll take care of it.

"Officer Reagan!" she greets happily like she had known me all her even though I didn't have the faintest idea of who she was.

"Hello, can I help you?" I ask being careful to watch all her movements for any signs of her lying.

"Such a gentlemen of course you always have been the polite one of the family. I must be going it was nice seeing you, we'll be in touch. 'Mary' waves goodbye and skips out the doors, leaving the entire department bewildered.

"That was odd." One officer says still looking at the door she had disappeared through.

"The situation or the girl?" Renzulli ask from beside me getting everybody to laugh but me. All I could do was flash an uncertain smile before heading out with Janko again to continue our patrol.

Frank's POV

A conversation I had dreaded for years have finally come, sending emotion I had barrier so deeply inside out again at the sight of him.

"Commissioner? Can't do any undercover work anymore huh? You've changed over the years Frank but to be fair we all have. I have been told I don't look as good as I once did, I guess eight years in prison has taken its toll." The man did not meet my eyes silently gilding around my office touching any item within his reach. His wondering fingers top when they land on a picture of Jamie from his high school graduation. "You really could pass him off as Mary's son, nobody would have guessed, luckily for you….he doesn't even know does he?" Lawrence Macon turns to meet my eyes for the first time sense entering my office, a small mocking smirk playing across his face.

"Leave Lawrence, I don't know how you got in here but I suggest you leave." I reply my heart in knots.

"I have connections Frank, we all do and we have eyes always on him, we always have. He never should have gone with you. After his birth he should immediately had gone to my family, the Macon family not the Reagan's. For his father is a lying desperate old man. He got picked on by his half-brother and has been lied to his entire life by his manipulative, murderer of a father." Lawrence snaps back saying 'father' and 'Reagan' like they were the most distasteful words he had ever used.

"Get out and leave my son alone." I reply my voice cold and sharp daring him to say another thing about my family, my Jamie.

"Very well Frank but like it or not he is just as much a Macon as he is a Reagan and he may not be a boy anymore but we can still make a move, but unlike last time we will succeed." Lawrence warns before leaving my office.

Baker stood just outside my door anger and panic in her eyes as she watches Lawrence leave.

"Sorry sir, got an urgent personal call that turned out the be nothing but a fake. Are you ok?" she asks walking into my office closing the door behind her blocking out my view of Lawrence's confident retreating figure.

"It's not me that I'm worried about." I reply my eyes still focused on the door as my mind goes back to the previous time the Macon's had taken my little boy, my Jamie. MY mind helplessly goes back then to the question I have fear of Jamie being taken away from me again by his mother and her family and what they would do to him when he resisted, all the images of the Macon family's worst crimes flashing through my mind but another question that scared me even more lingered in my mind. Would Jamie not fight them and join them instead?

? POV

I watch quietly as Lawrence Macon leaves, sipping my coffee. He offers me a nod and I just smile back happy to help.

My own plan was starting to take shape and I was targeting the youngest of all the Reagan's.

Jamie's POV

My shift was finally over; the rest of the day had thankfully been uneventful.

After changing I glance at the clock on the wall taking note of the time, 4:30. Dad doesn't leave the office until 6 giving me just enough time. I head out avoiding Danny going straight to my car after saying my goodbyes.

When I got to the house I find Gramps car gone, just like he said, gone to have an early dinner with some old friends.

I unlock the door, the house feeling empty and eerie without anybody home. Giving the driveway one last anxious glance I head upstairs and into dad's office.

Carefully moving things and placing them exactly as they were I search for anything that will tell me what my family was trying so hard to keep from me. Nothing was in the drawers, on the desk, tucked away in the bookcase or in his lacked drawer that I had discovered the key to when I was younger. I had already spent over an hour tearing the place apart without leaving a hint that I was here. I collapse, frustrated, into my father's chair my eyes scan the room looking for any other hiding places. Behind the desk a box with a certain glisten caught my eye, my father's safe. I head over to the safe sinking to my knees in front of it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer I do not own Blue Bloods. Thank you for all the reviews, you guys are my inspiration! It was funny because I didn't mean to post the last chapter, not wanting to end there but it worked out. Anyway on with the story and thanks for reading!**

Jamie's POV

I have tried every possible code I could think of, I have been setting here for the past 30 minutes and dad would be home now any minute. Pushing my luck I try my birthday, already trying Erin, Danny, Sean, Joe, Nicki and Jack's, nothing happens.

I get up glaring at the safe. My instincts telling me that everything I was looking for was locked away in the safe. Giving it one last try I type in 06281986 not knowing at the time what the numbers really meant. The safe clicks just as footsteps could be heard downstairs.

I tare through the safe looking through all the files and precious objects my eyes landing on a file neatly labeled 'Jamie'. I grab it closing the safe, hiding behind the couch that's back faced the corner. Holding my breath I hear the door open.

"Where did you say it was?" Danny yells down the hall walking further into the room.

"It should be on my desk!" I hear dad reply from what sounds like his bedroom.

I hear Danny moving things around the desk when he suddenly stops.

"What the hell? Dad did you leave the key to your desk out?" Danny asks, making my heart stop. I had left the key to the stupid drawer out! I clutch my eyes shut holding the folder close to my chest.

"No, your grandfather must have. Come on let's not keep the girls waiting." I hear dad say from the door of the office.

I hear them both leave, leaving me once again in an empty house. Not wanting to take the chance of running into grandpa I take off out the door, heading straight home anxious to find out what is in the file.

Danny's POV

The key laying out on the desk still bothered me the next day and when I got dad's phone call I understood why.

"Danny did you take anything from the safe last night?" my dad asks panic in his voice.

"No…what's missing?" I ask leaning against the kitchen counter waiting for the coffee to finish, Linda kissing me good morning.

"An important file, a file that has DNA test, records, stuff about Jamie." Dad replies anxiously.

"Would Gramps take it?" I ask even though my gut told me it was somebody else.

"I already asked he said that there was no one else at the house but us. Danny if that file finds itself in the wrong hands…"

"Dad did you notice Jamie's car was parked down by the Phyllis house yesterday?" I ask already putting on my shoes planning on catching up to Jamie before he can leave for work.

"Danny he doesn't even know about any of this and Jamie wouldn't do something like that…..if he did and he saw what was in that file…Danny make sure he doesn't have it…." Panic and fear showed in my father's voice making my own heart race.

"Alright Dad I'll take care of it, I'll call you back when I know something." I hang up getting dressed for the cool autumn air. "I'll see you tonight honey. Have a good day at school boys." I kiss my wife goodbye and give my half asleep boys each hug around the shoulders and a kiss on the head before I take off to find my baby brother.

Jamie's POV

The file was a reminder that I had broken into my father's safe and taken it without permission, every time I looked at it, it would just increase my guilt. I didn't dare look inside it feeling that if I did I was somehow betraying my father's trust.

I toss it into the front seat of my car deciding to slip it back in the safe after work. I already couldn't wait for the day to end wanting the guilty object to be gone. As I drive to the station my mind wonders back to the previous day. Danny had seen the key, had he seen my car to? Would Dad notice that the file was gone? I silently pray that all the answers to the above were no.

When I arrive I silently thank my lucky stars that Danny wasn't here yet before heading in the file tightly clutched in my hand like it was what decided if I lived or died today.

I lock the file away in my locker under anything I could find to put on top of it. In my haste I didn't notice Danny walk in until he slams my locker door closed making me yank my hand away before it could slam onto my hand.

"What the hell Danny?" I ask turning to look at my furious brother.

"What were you doing at dad's house last night and don't try to make up some half ass story, I saw your car parked a couple blocks away." Danny snaps at me.

"Danny I don't see how it's any of your business or why it's such a big deal. I have a key just like you." I snap back.

"It's a big deal because something that was in Dad's safe is missing and aside from you, me, dad and gramps nobody else was in the house. What the hell made you want to break into dad's safe?"

"Somebody took something from dad's safe? What's missing?" I ask trying to hide my guilt.

"I'm sure you already know so don't play stupid Jamie. I didn't take it considering I can access the damn thing anytime I want! What made you want to go snooping?"

"You know the code?" I ask my heart dropping into my gut, feeling betrayed.

"Yes and Erin does to, what's your point?" He snaps back at me but some of the anger lessens when he meets my eyes. "You didn't know."

"No I didn't. What was Dr. Kent talking about the other day when I was upstairs?" I ask no longer trying to hide the pain in my voice.

"You were eavesdropping! Jamie maybe this is why dad doesn't tell you anything! Where is the god damn file?!" Danny snaps at me again.

"You're an ass Danny. This has nothing to even do with you! It's between me and Dad, not you!" I snap back my own anger rising. Why was it I was always the one that was wrong? Why was I always the one shielded from everything?

"It has everything to do with me when Dad calls me panicking because something goes missing and that file had nothing to do with you anyways!"

"It has nothing to do with me?! Then why the hell is my name written on it? Why are you and dad so determined to keep whatever is inside it away from me?" I push past Danny needing to get away from him.

Suddenly I am whipped back and pushed against the wall. Danny has me pinned against the wall glaring at me.

"Where is it?" Danny asks again.

I couldn't believe he would go this far. Furious I bring my knee up kneeing him in the gut trying to take off again only to be stopped by a pair of handcuffs that kept me chained to a pipe.

"Danny!" I snap tugging uselessly at the cuffs. He straightens up crossing his arms leaning against the lockers.

Danny's phone rings forcing him to look away from me.

"Hey dad, no he took it. I have no idea….he is cuffed to a pipe right now if you want to talk to him…ok see you soon." Danny hangs up looking even more pissed. We stand there in silence ignoring the other officers that enter.

I look up in relief when dad enters.

"Danny let him go. Jamie's where the file?" he asks as Danny on cuffs me.

"In my locker I didn't even look at the damn thing it felt wrong. Look dad I'm sorry but all I want is answers, what was Dr. Kent talking about the other day?" I ask opening my locker happily handing over the file relieved to have it out of position.

Dad smiles as he flips through the file shaking his head.

"Jamie next time you have a question please come to me." Dad says looking up to meet my eyes tears in his eyes.

"Ok then what's in that file? What was Dr. Kent talking about? Why do Danny and Erin know the code to the safe but I don't? What are you trying to keep from me?" I ask unable to hold back the tears any longer.

Dad says nothing as tears run down his cheeks.

"Jamie please let me tell you when I'm ready….I-I'm not ready to face it again right now." Dad whispers not meeting my eyes.

"When will you be ready?" I ask tears running freely down my cheeks.

"Take the day off Jamie…." He heads out leaving me and taking Danny with him.

I fall to the ground biting back tears. I stand following them out the door.

"You have the day off Reagan. Go home and rest." The Captain says. All I can do is nod.

I numbly drive home not thinking of anything but being home. It wasn't until I got upstairs and my apartment door was closed behind me that my wall broke. I fall to the floor sobbing feeling betrayed and unwanted. Maybe Dr. Kent was right, maybe this really would tear my family apart.

? POV

It surprised us to see him home so early. The four of us watch and wait as he heads upstairs to his apartment looking like his world had fallen apart.

We wait 2 hours, Mark, my father, parking the van just outside the back doors in the alley where nobody could see. My mother, Carol getting the back of the van ready so he could rest comfortably and Jacob my brother creeping up the stairs with me.

I use the key that we had bought from the last auction, opening his apartment door with ease. I find him lying on the couch his face tear stained. I silently go over getting on my knees before him resting my hand on his cheek as I bring the needle up going for the vein in his neck. At my touch his grey blue eyes open panic filling them as I push the needle into his skin filling him the drug. He struggles to set up and get away from us only to collapse back down at my feet. With the roll of his eye Jake picks Jamie up carrying him down the stairs. Something I had always admired about Jake was his strength. With a smile I close and lock the door following Jake and my one true love.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer I do not own Blue Bloods like usual! **

Frank's POV

"We both owe him an apology." I remind my oldest as we drive to Jamie's apartment, both of us overwhelmed with guilt.

Danny doesn't spare me a glance is eyes focused on the road. Anybody that knew Danny could tell that he felt horrible for what happened, his silence only confirming it.

As we neared Jamie's apartment building my fatherly instincts told me something was wrong, the need to protect my son rose.

By the time the car is stopped I am already inside the building half way to Jamie's apartment, the need to have my son in my arms enforcing the adrenaline.

I use my key to unlock the door not even bothering to knock needing to know my sin was ok, desperate to make sure he was safe.

Once inside I find nothing, no Jamie, nothing out of order aside from a blanket tossed across the couch and the TV on low.

"Dad what's going on?" Danny asks entering the apartment at a run, a few minutes after me.

"He's gone, Danny." I reply checking all the rooms, making note that his keys, badge, cell phone and gun were all on the counter. I shook with fear of where my son might be, afraid I might lose another.

"Dad!" Danny holds up a needle that is now empty of whatever fluid it had once held, somebody has taken my son and my guilt was eating me alive.

Jamie's POV

My entire body ached, I was drained and my breath came short. My surrounding were unfamiliar, I was tucked in a bed that reeked of laundry detergent.

Weakly I set up taking in the rest of the room looking for an escape. The floors were made of worn white oak, the walls a filthy white, a dresser that appeared to be from the 1800s with nothing on it but a glass of water and a pair of grey jogging pants towered over the bed and then there was the old brown chair that would soon become the center of my personal hell.

I get to my feet using the head board for support. The wood floor was cold against my bare feet making me shiver. I walk over to the door finding that it is locked from the outside. Slowly I make my way over to the window that over looked a dark alley that was a good 3 stories fall down. The window was sealed shut and wouldn't budge with even my strongest of attempts.

I wrap my arms over my bare chest noticing I was only in my boxers. I don't dare touch the glass of water not knowing if it was just water. I search for my own clothes not wanting to wear the jogging pants that had been laid out.

My world seemed to come to a standstill when I heard footsteps just outside the door. I lay down on the bed pulling the covers over me, pretending to be asleep hoping that whoever it was would just go away.

"Are you ok, Jamie?" a familiar voice asks making my stomach drop, it was 'Mary'.

I don't move and keep my eyes closed my heart racing as she neared the bed.

"Carol my mother wants to feed you Jamie, you must be hungry, she made her famous soup." Her hand touches my face making my heart beat pick up. "I know your awake, Jamie. Open your eyes." her voice was soft but eerie sending goose bumps up my arms.

Slowly I open my eyes meeting her green eyes that stare at me lovingly.

"My name is Ella." She squeals happily grabbing my hands and pulling me out of the bed to my feet. She giggles a girly giggle when she sees that I am only in my boxers making me wish I had put the jogging pants on. Her cheeks a light shade of pink as she drags me downstairs to a cluttered kitchen where a women in a worn apron and a floral dress was busy working.

"Mama, he's up!" 'Mary' that is now Ella giggles happily getting the older women's attention.

She smiles at me tucking a piece of her black greying hair behind her ear.

"Take a seat Jamie, don't be shy." She greets like I was here every day.

Ella pushes me into a seat taking the one beside me openly staring at me as she plays with her hair, her eyes scanning my body like she was trying to decide what to touch first.

A guy that resembles a body builder walks in and smiles a smile that made my skin crawl and made me want to vomit what little I had in me.

"Jamie that's my brother, Jacob. Don't worry he's _real _friendly." Ella tells s me smiling at her brother.

"Here honey have some soup." Carol puts a bowel of chicken noodle soup out in front of me with a piece of bread.

"No thank you, I'm really not hungry." I push the bowel away from me scared of what might be in it.

"You need to eat! Do you want to die?! Eat you foolish boy!" Carol screams picking the spoon out from the pot of soup and whacking me with it, not once but twice leaving small red marks, from the burn or the hit I don't know.

I pick up my spoon holding it up letting her know that I was eating. With the first bite it confirmed my belief that there was something in it, the dizziness already settling in.

"Why am I here?" I ask taking advantage of the three of them in the room, before I could pass out.

They don't answer they just go about what they were doing like I didn't say a thing.

But what really scared me was the look that Jacob kept giving me, it was like I was his personal toy and he was trying to decide how to play with me first. I silently prayed with each bite that Danny and Dad would find me soon.

Danny's POV

"Danny, did you pick the boys up from school?" Linda's frantic voice fills my ear as I help look for anything that would point us in the direction of where Jamie was.

"Was I supposed to?"

"No I went to get them, they're not here, and I already called gramps he didn't pick them up either." I could hear Linda's tears, my own heart dropping into my stomach making me want to throw up, fearing every parent's worst nightmare coming true.

"I'll find them Linda." I reassure her blinking away my own tears, my heart racing. I love my brother but my kids come first.

Frank's POV

I had just gotten back to my office when Danny calls telling me the boys are missing as well, this information only deepened my sorrow. Why did it seem that the youngest of our family were paying for all of our mistakes?

"Sir, I was just heading out when a women came in asking to speak to you, she says it's urgent." Baker says before I can set down. "I think its Emily Macon."

"Send her in." I reply my stomach dropping at the thought of seeing her again after so many years.

When she walked in my heart rate picked up thinking it was my Mary.

"Francis long time no see. This is only a visit out of courtesy. I have people that are telling me my son is missing. My people are searching for him already just like yours, only we are using slightly different methods. You had better pray that you find him first because if I do I will make sure he stays with his true family, the family that does not lie and blind him." Emily threatens her voice cold but calm. Her heals clicked on the floor as she places her long pale fingers on my desk her nails tapping the hard wood. She was dressed in a way that I could not ignore, a tight black skirt that showed off ass and a red formal shirt made of silk that hugged her showing her ever present curves, her blue eyes that reminded me so much of Mary stared back at me, analyzing, never underestimating an opponent, her dyed brown hair pulled back in a fancy bun, trying to preserve her dying youth.

"You mean his family of thieves and murders? Just know that even if you do find _my _son first he will never corporate with you, Jamie is far too good of a man to fall into you trap that you call family." I reply biting back my anger.

"You never know, knowing the truth might change him and he is a Macon….best of luck Francis you're going to need it." Emily leaves confidence in each step making me wonder if she knows more than I do.

? POV

Jamie's disappearance couldn't have come at a more convenient time for me. They were so busy worrying about him that I was able to snatch the children right from under their noses.

I look back grinning at their sleeping forms, I do not play games, and I cut to the chase finishing the job and move on. A few more miles and there will be nothing left of Danny Reagan's boys.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer I do not own Blue Bloods.**

Jamie's POV

The room was coated in darkness. The only light came from a street light from the alley causing the room to look even more eerie. I was handcuffed to the bed, drowsy and sick from the drugs, the food or whatever haunted me when I was a kid I didn't know.

My attention is drawn to the chair that rested by the side of my bed. A large shadow sat there its breath deep and its eyes focused on me.

"You're awake." Jacob's ruff voice says as he rises from the chair making the floor creak beneath his feet. He sat on my bed running his fingers through my hair. I jerk my head away over whelming me with dizziness.

"It's ok Jamie. I'm not going to hurt you." He whispers to me sliding his hand under the covers running his hands over my bare chest. I panic causing me my body to shake with coughs.

"Shhh…." Jacob whispers, running his hands further down my body. He crawls on to the bed beside me placing kisses on my neck down to my chest.

He continues to assault me for two long agonizing hours, touching me, rubbing against me. When he finishes I am sobbing, my breath coming short causing coughs to shake me.

"Bye Jamie, sleep well." Jacob squeezes my thigh before heading out closing and locking the door. My weak stomach gives way making me throw up the little food I had in my stomach.

Frantically, needing escape I twist my body around placing my feet against the old wood headboard desperately trying to break it so I could get free. It wouldn't budge no matter how much I kicked it pushed it against the wall, I had given up when I hear the crack of wood breaking. With one last good kick it snaps allowing me to slide my hand cuffs off it. I get to my feet shaking. Just when I thought I was home free I hear running footsteps just outside the door.

Panicking I grab the piece of the head board holding it like a bat. Jacob comes in his temper flaring.

"Bad Jamie!" he yells easily ripping the board out of my weak hands and raising it above his own head striking me with it. He repeatedly beats me, one blow after another. I curl up in a ball covering my head so that only my back was exposed. I could feel my ribs crack, my shoulders scream in pain and knew I would have severe bruising if not broken bones after he was finished.

"No hiding!" he yells uncurling me from my ball with his foot before continuing to beat me, hitting my stomach, head, and chest. I thought I could take no more when he suddenly stops. Trying to blink away my blurred vision and nausea I make out a male form that appeared to be in his late sixties calming Jacob leading him out the door.

"It's ok Jacob let me just make sure he's ok." The man says as he nears the door.

"I didn't mean to, he was being bad." Jacob cries.

"I know son, I know. Go watch TV with your mother." The man assures his son before closing and locking the door.

"He really doesn't mean to, Jamie. I am sorry for what he did to you. But you see Jacob, Carol and my Ella are sick. They just need something to keep them calm and when Jacob and Ella spotted you in your police uniform, how could I say no?" he asks smiling getting down beside me.

"Your ….family needs …..help." I gasp before I vomit up bile.

"They have help, they have me. All they need is love, Jamie. Don't move he seems to have broken a couple of your ribs, your bleeding as well." He places his head on my forehead that was now caked in blood from a blow Jacob had given me to the head. "You have a temperature, I know the drugs I gave them to use does not cause this, you must be sick. Don't worry Carol will take care of you she loves playing nurse. By the way I am Mark, and I'll make sure they won't kill you Jamie, I'm a doctor." He assures me patting my leg making me flinch.

If he noticed he didn't say anything.

"I'm going to pick you up Jamie, it's going to hurt. But don't move." He says before sliding his arms beneath my body and lifting me up from the cold wood floors. Cries fill the room that I didn't realize until later were mine.

"I'm going to give you some medicine, Jamie. It will help you sleep." He assures me as he injects me with some kind of drug. My last thought before darkness over comes me was of my family.

? POV

I pull off pulling up to the frozen river's side. With a wicked grin I open the back doors of the van pulling the gagged boys out. Only the oldest was awake, which was a shame I always enjoyed the screams.

"How about we watch your brother first, huh?" I ask him smiling as I pick up the youngest over to the river dunking his head beneath the freezing water. I could hear the muffled cries of the other boy making me smile. The youngest was now awake and fighting which only brought me more joy.

Sean had just seconds to live when a blow comes to my back forcing me to tumble into the water taking Sean with me. In my panic I let go of the kid only to watch as he is yanked out of the water.

Jack's POV

I couldn't watch my brother die. I had managed to break loose of the ropes after rubbing them against a piece of scrap metal that lay on the ground. Once free I untie my ankles and run up to the man that held my brother kicking him as hard as I could in the back. I watch as he tumbles into the river before grabbing Sean and pulling him out. Dragging a barely conscious Sean I pull us both into the van locking the doors. I wrap the man's coat that he had left around Sean before sliding into the driver's seat relieved to see the keys in the ignition. It couldn't be that difficult could it? I start the car my nerves shaking. I step on the gas medal jerking us forward; I slam on the brakes before we could hit the building in front of us. I take deep breaths before putting it in reverse like dad does, back the van up slowly. I put it back in drive panicking when I see his very angry figure rise from the water. I slam on the gas and pull out into oncoming traffic my heart racing the entire time.

Cars swerve around me as I try to get even with the road and into my own lane. Once settled I very slowly make my way along the road causing furious honks from behind me but I barely notice my panic not yet gone but when I see him heading up the sidewalk I step on the gas pedal afraid and ram the car in front of me making me scream. I pull away from it crying driving past the angry driver.

Going at a steady rate with traffic I follow slamming on my brakes a little too hard when we slowed or when I panicked. I had no idea where we were of where we were going. I just wanted to get me and Sean away from him.

Relief fills me when I hear the familiar sound of police sirens behind me. I panic not knowing how to pull off so I just settle on turning the car off in the middle of the street and rolling down the window knowing to not jump out of the car.

"Driver's license and registration….wait you're a kid! What are doing! Wait hey what's wrong?" The officer asks turning from fury to concern.

"My brother he was being drowned in the river by this really bad guy! I got us away! He took us from school! Please I just want my mom and dad!" I cry.

The officer opens the door helping me out of the car, calling something into his radio.

"Where's your brother?" he asks as his partner opens the back doors.

"Found him! We need a bus! He's not looking so good!" The officer yells making me cry harder.

"Who's your parents?" the officer asks after calling in for a bus.

"My dad's a detective…" I cry unable to remember my dad's first name unable to focus.

"Hey you're safe now kid, you did the right thing. What's your name?" he asks getting down to my level placing his hands on my shoulders.

"J-Jack Reagan." I cry not noticing the officer's shocked expression. He calls something else in before pulling me into a hug trying to calm me when all I wanted was to go home and for this all to be a nightmare.

Danny's POV

Relief filled me when somebody called letting me know they had found the boys. Linda, Dad, Erin, Gramps Jack, Nicki and I set in the waiting room waiting on word about Sean. Jack had passed out in my lap as soon as we had sat down. Nobody dared mention the missing presence of Jamie.

"So the kid drove a car and knocked the bastard on his ass? He's a god damn true Reagan and some day will make one hell of a cop!" Grandpa says smiling proudly at Jack along with me and Dad's laughter.

"Don't say that!" Linda groans even though there was pride for out boy on her face.

Two home safe now all there was Jamie and the question of how we were going to stop the guy behind this.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer I do not own Blue Bloods, like usual, I also want to say that I love all the reviews I am getting but I always welcome more! Reviews make me update faster, so if you enjoy and want to see more please review!**

Danny's POV

Sean has ammonia and hypothermia he has been in the hospital for the past two weeks with no change, one of us always stayed with him not wanting him to be alone.

There still has been no sign of Jamie. None of us wanted to admit it but we were beginning to lose hope in ever finding him alive.

"Mom can I please go see Sean!" Jack begs as Linda wrestles him out the door to get to school.

"You can see him after school." Linda assures him dragging him out the door by his back pack strap.

I kiss Linda on the cheek and mess Jack's hair up before heading out to get to the station. I down another cup of coffee eagerly, running on four hours of sleep for the past 48 hours. Dad is running on even less.

Sean and Jack were safe, one scared but ok and the other recovering but Jamie was still out there living a nightmare well we got to eat, set in warmth and spend time together, we now spend every second we can get together terrified of losing another all well Jamie is out there by himself, dead or dying.

There is an unspoken promise between me and my dad, we both silently swore that we would bring Jamie home.

Jamie's POV

Every night one of them would come in and entertain themselves with me, always setting in the wooden chair waiting for me to wake.

Jacob raped me four times but most of the time it was more like he was playing unsure of what to do. Jacob scared me but he wasn't the one that haunted my dreams. What Jacob did terrified me and made me feel weak, and used but he never hit me again, not like he did the first night.

Carol was unpredictable. She would come in and one moment be talking to me like I was a child and the next beating me, torturing me in any way she could possibly think of, enjoying my screams.

Ella babied me. She fed me, bathed me, talked to me, drugged me, helped me when I was sick and always tucked me into bed, making sure I was warm. But yet she was the one that scared me the most, it was like she was trying to brain wash me, make me forget all things that brought me happiness, my own family. She would call me her sweetheart, her honey, talk about when we grew up together, memories that never existed and when I ever mentioned my family or say Carol's name she screamed at me telling me she was my family, that Carol was both of our mother.

Mark, the father, would 'treat' my wounds even though in actuality he only made them worse or tried to put off the inedible. It was clear that he was not an actual doctor; he was just as sick as his family.

It was late at night my fevered state pulling me into another nightmarish hell. I had just started to drift when I heard the gunshots. Weakly I try to set up and get free but my newly chained ankles, arms and weakened state stopped me. I panic for a few minutes till defeated I accept that I was going to die; it had to be better than this hell.

Four shots, only four, one for each of my tormenters. I hold my breath listening to the door open and footsteps could be heard on the cold wood floor. I look up to see a man in his late 50s. He carefully examines the ropes on my ankles and wrist saying nothing to me. A woman appears in the doorway as he begins to cut me free. She stands there looking at me tears in her blue-grey eyes that were strangely similar to mine.

"Lawrence help me get him onto the blanket so we can get him out of here." The woman orders, coming over to me and gently lifting me up, sliding a blanket beneath me. "Jamie where are your clothes?" she asks once I was lying comfortably on my back as she covers me with another blanket shielding my shivering body from the cold inside the room.

"They didn't…?" the woman stammers, realization and fear filling her eyes.

I say nothing to her not wanting to admit to a stranger that I was taken advantage of.

"Lawrence we have to take him to a hospital." The woman continues frantically tucking a blanket around me tears in her eyes.

"Emily if we take him to the hospital you lose him." Lawrence snaps back, his cool knife scraping my rope burned wrist.

"If I don't I lose him. Look at his wounds, we can't treat this, he's so sick."

"We're not taking him, we can't. Find the house phone we'll call 911 leave the phone by him and we can get out of here." Lawrence replies irritation in his eyes.

"Call them."

Danny's POV

Sirens blare as we speed towards the house the call had come from. My heart raced, my knuckles were white as I clutch the steering wheel anxious to get my brother home. The operator said it was Jamie's voice but he had gone silent after the sound of his weak whimpering could be heard.

I pushed the pedal to the floor fearing that we would be just minutes late, only to find him dead.

I was the first inside; I ignore the filth of the house, the bodies I step over running up the stairs to the open bedroom door where a figure lay on a bed, unconscious and pale. The sheets stained red, moist with sweat and the smell of human waste in the air.

His face was bruised and blood coated, his eyes were closed as if he were sleeping, he was visibly breathing but you could tell that it was pained.

Cautiously I move over to his side gently brushing his wet hair away from his face.

He opened his eyes panicked, he grabbed my wrist crying.

"Danny, Danny…" he sobbed clutching onto me like I might disappear. I wrap an arm around his bare trembling shoulders holding him close to me as he sobbed and I waited for the medics.

I notice that the sheets was all that he had on and wrap it tighter around his shaking frame as I hold him the medics on their way up the stairs.

"In here!" I yell still holding a now silent trembling Jamie.

The medics take him from my arms and begin to lay him on the stretcher wrapping a new clean blanket around his trembling unconscious form.

I follow the paramedics calling my father on the way.

Frank's POV

Five hours of waiting. All of us gathered in the hospital waiting room, lost in our own thoughts.

Jack and Linda were visiting Sean while we waited for news on Jamie.

"Well at least we have him home and he is alive." Gramps speaks up glumly. I barley acknowledge his words or Erin's hand in mine. My eyes watch Danny's pacing figure. He had refused to tell me what Jamie was like when he found him but fear was evident in his eyes.

"Commissioner, can I speak to you?" Dr. Kent asks coming out of the doors Jamie was behind.

"What is this about?" I ask standing up.

"Just some personal information of Jamie's that um… you should know but I don't think the rest of the family should know… at least not yet." Dr. Kent says pacifically looking at Nicki.

I nod understanding, even though my heart was racing with fear of what he was going to say. I follow him a distance away from the others before he turns to me solemnly.

"Frank I don't know how to say this but…Jamie was raped." If the doctor said anything else I didn't hear him. I collapse into a nearby chair tears filling my eyes.

"I'm sorry Frank. We tested him for any STDs there were no traces of any, but that's about as good as the news gets. I want to tell this to you first because Jamie is going to need you the most right now. I'm going to have to have you sign a paper saying you will take full guardianship of Jamie after he leaves, he won't be able to take care of himself for quite some time…I'm sorry I'm stalling I just don't know how to say this…Frank, Jamie was not only raped but beaten and tortured. He has internal bleeding in multiple different places including the head, the kidney, liver and one of his lungs, we have him stabilized but I need you to sign off for us to perform surgery…his skull is fractured both of his legs are broken in several places, he broke or cracked all of his ribs, his shoulder blade is whack out of place and healing incorrectly we're going to have to break it again, he's sick but we're not sure if it's from the drugs they gave him or if it's something we should be more concerned about, he is severely bruised, his lungs are weak, and he has 2nd degree burns all over his body. Frank I'm sorry but I have to get back to Jamie." Dr. Kent smiles at weak smile at me as I sign the paper work numbly, robotically heading back to the waiting room, my legs caving out the moment I near a chair.

"Francis what did he say?" Pa asks everybody's eyes on me.

"Dad?" Erin asks taking my hand. "Is he going to be ok?"

"I don't know." I whisper in response, taking a breath trying to come to terms with what happened to my beloved son.

"What did the doctor say?" Danny asks panic in his eyes.

"He's a mess, internal bleeding, broken bones…" I reply barley paying attention to what I was saying, my thoughts on Jamie.

It was obvious that they did not accept my answer, knowing there was more but also knowing better than to press.

Emily's POV

My worst fear has been confirmed, Jamie was taken advantage of; he was raped. When Dr. Kent passes me he offers me small nod sympathy on his eyes.

I lean against the cool brick wall watching Frank's retreating figure.

Dr. Kent has sympathized for me sense before Jamie was born, getting me ultra sound pictures, keeping up to date on his health, placing gifts from me in his hospital room when he was sick, and letting me visit the hospital after visiting hours were over and my sweet Jamie was asleep. I would set by his bedside just enjoying being in the same room as my only child.

Now that sweet boy has been put through the worst kind of torture one can imagine. The physical pain he could recover from it was the mental I was worried about. Even if I had to work alongside the _Reagans _I would catch whoever was threatening my son even though it meant killing those that threatened the people I couldn't touch but hated the most.

There was only one thing I ever agreed with Frank on over the years and that was Jamie's protection and safety, we just had different ways of enforcing it.


	9. Chapter 9

**I do not own Blue Bloods….ok can I please get more reviews you guys I'm starting to feel like not many of you actually like this story…..thanks!**

Frank's POV

His eyes are closed and he appears to be peacefully sleeping but I know better.

Jamie has been drifting in and out of consciousness now for three days; he was never really quite awake. He would never really talk, at least no more than a few words before darkness overcame him again.

Jamie's tormentors are all dead now, much to my relief for I do not know if I would have been able to hold myself back from doing it myself.

There was no evidence of who killed them but I had my suspicion. There was only one person that would have killed them but let Jamie live, and that person was his mother, Emily.

"Reminds me of when he was a child…he always has looked so innocent when he sleeps." A dark figure says from the doorway leaning against the door its' eyes on Jamie.

"Emily what do you want?" I ask instinctively moving closer to Jamie.

"The same thing you do for our son, for him to be safe again. I bought the last of the keys he was selling off." She drops a dozen keys on the table her eyes never leaving Jamie.

"What are these for?" I ask picking them up realizing that they were all duplicates of one of two keys.

"Keys auctioned off for the Reagan house and Jamie's apartment. They had keys to Daniel's and your daughter's but I could care less, they were all auctioned off." She sets on Jamie's bed gently stroking his hair not bothering to look at me.

"Your men haven't killed this auctioneer?" I ask my fury rising knowing that some maniacs had keys to my kids' houses.

"No he's not the supplier or the one that wants _your family _and Jamie dead. Frank when Jamie is discharged let me take him. He would be safer, it seems having the last name Reagan is a death sentence and being around one is just going to get you killed as well. But if he were to be with me and protected by my family, we would be far safer. Nobody messes with my family, except for a few ignorant cops, and if anybody did we don't give them a free room to stay in and a cot."

I got to my feet to stand above her. She doesn't look up, she merely raises an eyebrow. "Who's with you?"

"Theodore is just outside, Lawrence isn't talking to me. He's upset with me." She replies uncaringly.

"You may be his mother but he does not know you and let's be honest Emily you don't love him and if you do it's not because he is your son but because you know you can use him against me, that you loving him hurts me!" I hiss back wanting her away from MY son.

"I don't love him? Every time he was in the hospital I was there, I sent him gifts on his birthday and Christmas, I went to every school event that I could of his, I was at his graduation, and I paid off his college loans! I made sure he was safe! Every little things I ever got of Jamie's, pictures, old reports, books, anything I cherished like it was gold because it was part of MY baby! You lied to him, kept him from me and me from him just because of your pride! All I wanted was a baby and you took that from me, the one thing I wanted all my life! You used me and Jamie for what?! A petty 12 years of federal prison on my father?! You're just as bad as me, you lied to him, used him, cheated on your wife and then murdered her!" she was screaming at me now, sobbing her hand squeezing Jamie's.

I hear the door open and shoes squeak on the floor behind me but I pay no attention, my eyes focused on the woman that was born in the wrong family, the woman that gave me my son and on my son guilt rising in the back of my throat knowing I lied to my son.

Before another word could be said from either one of us coughs erupted in the room. Jamie opens his eyes panicking, each cough visibly hurting him. A nurse that had entered the room ran over to Jamie pushing Emily aside.

"Jamie, take a deep breath. You have to stop." The nurse puts a hand on his midsection where his ribs are. She grabs the glass of water off the table handing it to me as she lifts Jamie's head and I pour the water slowly into his mouth dampening it. He finally stops his breathing was pained but better.

The nurse gently pressed on his abdomen again around his ribs; he lets out a cry tears in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Emily speaks up watching with tears in her eyes.

"Trying to make sure his ribs are ok. The coughing could have done more harm to his already severely damaged ribs." She replies touching a tender spot making Jamie cry out again tears in his eyes.

Jamie's POV

The nurse finished pressing on my ribs turning to check my vitals. I take in my surroundings for the first time. I was in a hospital room hooked up to multiple machines, both of my legs were heavy, unmoving, my head pounded and my stomach ached. My dad stands by the side of my bed his warm hand taking mine. The woman that saved me from my hell stood at the foot of my bed her dyed brown hair falling loosely into her face.

"Who are you?" I ask my voice weak and hoarse.

"I'm Emily, I'll explain to you who I am later, you need your rest. I'll see you both soon." She squeezes my arm before leaving not saying a word to my father just giving him a brief smirk.

I look towards my father but he offers no explanation instead takes a seat beside me again his hand cradling mine.

"When can I go home?" I ask the nurse before she can escape out the door.

"I'm going to get the doctor now." She assures me before escaping.

I slide my good arm beneath me trying to pull myself up. I feel my dad's strong hands slide beneath me helping me; he props up pillows behind me to lean on. My hands move down to my legs which are bandaged and casted. My mind goes back to when I had angered Carol and she smashed my legs with a hammer, the time when she took her lit cigarette burning my flesh, and the time when she was trying to feed me getting furious when I kept coughing and stabbed me repeatedly in my already damaged legs with a fork.

I didn't realize I was crying until Dad wraps his arms around my trembling shoulders holding me close.

"They're dead, right? They are all dead?" I ask clinging to my father like I did when I was a child and would wake up from a nightmare or was feverishly sick.

"They are all gone." He assured me rubbing my back comfortingly.

"Hello Jamie, it's nice to see that you're awake." Dr. Kent greets me walking over to my bedside. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore a little sick." I admit a little under exaggerating how I was feeling but I wanted to go home. I pull my covers up, trying to hide my shivers.

"My nurse, Zoey, told me you have a temperature of a 105. Your breathing is off and your ribs need to be stabilized, one of them is barley holding on that is why Zoey panicked when you started coughing afraid it would break off and injure one of your organs, we didn't put screws in like we had initially talked about for you have under gone to much surgery already and need to recover from that first but it appears we're going to have to take the risk."

"Your legs are extremely frail, all the fractured broken, nerves damaged, muscles torn and 3rd degree burns in spots. Until we can perform surgery I don't want you putting any weight on either one of them, which means no standing. I only tell you this so we can prevent further damage. Any questions for me?" he asks coming over to my ribs pushing lightly on them till he finds the one he is looking for, when he does I cry out tears of pain filling my eyes.

"When will I be able to go home?" I ask watching as he unwraps a bandage from around my head that I hadn't realized was there.

"Not for quite some time. I still want to run some test to see what is making you so sick, you will need at least one more surgery before we can release you not counting the ones you will need later. Your lungs need to be carefully monitored and I'm not sure if your body would be able to handle leaving quite yet." Dr. Kent explains bandaging my head again after checking something. "Does your head hurt?"

"Yeah I've got a headache but doc how long are we talking?" I ask as he turns to my legs.

"At least a month and that's only if a miracle happens between now and then." His words make my heart sink. A month if I was lucky? I let him check the four surgery wounds and the burns without a word my eyes focused on my dad. I wanted to go home, to be with my family that dream that kept me fighting for those two weeks was still out of reach.

"If it makes you feel better, I will try to make sure you are discharged in the next five weeks, so you can make Christmas." Dr. Kent promised leaning against the counter gazing at me.

"Will there be any permanent damage?" dad asks taking my hand again. Tears fill my eyes at the thought that I might not be able to work again. I have already lost so much to these monsters, please not my job.

"It's too early to tell but if everything goes as planned it's unlikely." Dr. Kent assures us. "Let us know Jamie if you start to feel worse, one of the nurses will check on you every hour." He fives my shoulder a squeeze and my dad a comforting smile before heading out the leaving only me, my father and are worried thoughts.

"Get some sleep Jamie, I'll be right here."

Danny's POV

Sean's health has taken a turn for the worse. He was going to be discharged today when late last night he got violently sick. He slipped into a coma for unknown reasons early this morning. Jack hasn't left his room sense he heard the news. Linda has been distant, always deep in thought. I refuse to let myself think too much, forcing myself to focus on whoever is behind this all.

I hold Sean's pale, cold hand in mine tears running down my cheeks. The doctors have run every sort of test finding no reason for his sudden turn for the worse. Just yesterday we had been told he could return to school next week and now me don't even know if he will wake up.

"Danny, can I speak to you? I ran a couple more tests and found something." Dr. Kent asks excitement in his eyes.

"What did you find?" I ask anxious to hear an update.

"Danny Sean was drugged. Somebody gave him cocaine, he OD and slipped into a coma." Dr. Kent hands me lab results. "This was done on purpose and he should not have lived, somebody tried to kill your son."


	10. Chapter 10

**I do not own Blue Bloods.**

**Any way I just want to say thank you for the reviews again! I absolutely love you guys for it! Thank you for reading and more reviews are appreciated!**

Frank's POV

Officers have been placed on both Jamie and Sean's rooms. Sean has not woken yet but we have prayed every day for the past week. Danny is on edge with everything going on and Linda is so distant now, she is visibly depressed and getting worse with each day. Jack has gotten an attitude, questioning everybody and everything forcing Danny's anger to spike and for him to yell at an already upset Jack. Erin is tense fearing for Nicki, getting over protective again. Nicki barley talks to Erin now and when she does it is always with an attitude. With both of them on edge Erin and Danny are at snapping each constantly. Jamie is still in the hospital and we try to shield him from what is going on but he is not stupid he sees it all. Danny and him have gotten into a couple fights when Danny stops to see him, Danny let's his temper and need to blame it all on somebody take over and says things to Jamie that crush Jamie's already frail heart. I have not told Danny but after he leaves Jamie, I will often find him silently sobbing.

If these people that are hurting my family want to tear my family apart, they are succeeding.

As time went by my fear rises. What if we don't catch them in time and they end up killing one of us? With each second that goes by I begin to wonder if I should just let Emily take Jamie, he may be safer with a mob family then he would be with his family of cops.

"Sir the Mayor is here to see you." Baker says exhaustion in her voice as she enters my office.

"Let him in." I reply not bothering to look at her my eyes focused on my city, knowing that somewhere out there somebody is laughing at my family's pain.

"Frank I know your family is going through some had times right now and I'm sorry…I don't mean to put even more stress in you but this showed up at my doorstep today. I don't know what they're talking about but I want answers." The mayor slides a letter neatly typed out telling the mayor about Mary's death accusing me of killing my Mary.

"I didn't kill her if that is what you're asking. I asked her to do something for me that led to her death but never did I hurt her. I feel sometimes as if I did kill her myself but I did not pull the trigger she knew what the consequences were going to be." I respond tears filling my eyes. Mary died bringing my son into this world, a son that by blood was never hers but by love was and still is hers. I know in that moment that I will not let Jamie go with Emily; I would be going against Mary's dying wish, her plea for Jamie to never be exposed to the life his mother lived.

"Frank, what happened?"

"You may want to take a seat, it's a long story and a story I should have told you about a long time ago."

Jamie's POV

_His hand wonders under the covers, I could feel his hands inching up my bare, tender legs, nearing the area we are taught from birth that are private. _

_I cry plea for him to stop. He smiles kissing my neck, bare chest, biting me as his hand grabs me making me cry begging him to stop. He doesn't. He takes my nipple into his mouth biting it, sucking on it his hand hold me in his palm, violating me. _

"_Jamie! Jamie, its ok!" he yells at me over my sobs._

"Jamie! You're safe now. You're not there." Arms wrap around me pulling me to them. I sob trying to get free not wanting this, begging for somebody to stop him, for this to not happen to me, not again. "Jamie it's me! It's Danny!" The voice repeats forcing me to cry more. Danny hated me, he wouldn't save me, he hates me, and he's probably laughing, laughing at my pain.

Danny's POV

Jamie cries out screaming, shaking with fear.

"Get the doctor!" I yell at the officer that stood outside openly starring. "Go!"

He takes off running down the hall panic in his eyes.

"Jamie, hey I'm right here, nobody's going to hurt you." I hold my sobbing brother trying to calm him coughs and sobs shaking him.

"No! NO! Let me go! You're just going to hurt me! You hate me!" he yells squirming in my arms making him sob more as his wounds twist in painful ways.

"Jamie, I love you, you're my brother." I cry, tears running down my own cheeks. Jamie had to know that all those things I had told him, I didn't mean right?

"Dad! Where's dad?!" he sobs more squirming, each sob and movement visibly causing him pain, his panic causing his breath to be labored and his body shakes with coughs.

"Jamie, you need to relax, Jamie! Nurse, grab me an injection!" Dr. Kent yells at the nurse helping me hold a hysteric Jamie down trying to not cause him any more pain.

The nurse comes back injecting something into Jamie's IV. Jamie's movements slow he coughs twice more before he starts to choke on vomit. Dr. Kent turns Jamie's head allowing Jamie to vomit onto the side of the bed before he relaxes and falls to sleep.

"I'll get something to clean that." The nurse says before taking off to get something to clean the bed with.

"What happened?" Dr. Kent asks checking Jamie for any damage he might have done to himself.

"He had a nightmare. I don't know." I whisper setting down shock filling me.

"Again? That's the third time this week. As you can see his health isn't improving much, he still has a raging temperature, he gets sick all the time, he can't keep food down; his lungs are so frail, he gets headaches from the injuries to the head and countless other things." Dr. Kent admits running a hand through his dark black, greying hair stressed.

He leaves me alone with Jamie after giving me one less reluctant glance.

I hold my brother's hand watching him peacefully sleep looking for any sign that said he was having a nightmare again.

Why was this happening to us? Why Sean? Why Jamie? Who could do this to us? Why not just kill us? Sean is innocent, he's just a kid and Jamie doesn't even know about half of what was going on. I set there silently crying, cursing the world until the door opens and Erin runs in tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Danny, gramps is dead! He was murdered at the house. Nicki found him!" she sobs collapsing into a nearby chair with Nicki running in behind her, Nicki runs over to Jamie lying on the bed beside him sobbing into his chest with a barley conscious Jamie wrapping a shocked arm around her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer I do not own Blue Bloods. **

Nicki's POV

I lay beside my uncle Jamie tears running down my cheeks, the nightmare of seeing Gramps on the floor blood covered, the gunshots still ringing in my ears, Gramps eyes open and so blank….I sob harder careful to not hurt my Uncle Jamie but needing the Uncle that has always been there for me sense the day I was born. Even though he was sore I still feel his arm wrap around me holding me close. That is my Uncle Jamie, always putting others first.

Erin's POV

I watch numbly as Nicki falls asleep next to my youngest brother. You could tell he was sore but he wasn't complaining either.

"What happened?" Danny asks tears in his own eyes.

"Nicki went to Dad's house after school to be with Grandpa till I got out of work. Nicki had been there not even 15 minutes when it happened. She was upstairs using the bathroom when she heard the gunshots. Terrified she turned off the bathroom lights and locked the door. She heard three shots and sat there waiting for any more noise, after 15 minutes she went downstairs and found Gramps lying on the kitchen floor in a puddle of blood dead." I take a breath biting back more sobs. "She called me and told me what happened before calling the police, she was so scared."

"She should have called the police first." Danny replies setting me into a rage.

"Screw you Danny! She's just a girl! She was afraid!" I snap throwing a nearby tissue box at his head which he quickly dodges.

"Still she's a Reagan! People are going to question her and with her growing up in a family of cops she should know the protocol it wasn't like she was going into this uneducated!" he snaps back.

"She's still a girl! So what just because she's a Reagan she lost the right to be scared, to be a child?!" I scream back tears of frustration and anger running down my cheeks. "It wasn't like she ran away from the scene!"

"Could you both please stop what happened, happened. There is no changing that and right now we all need each other, we don't need to be screaming at each other and fighting over things we can't change." Jamie snaps his voice quiet and weak but strength and determination filled it. "Has anybody called dad, Linda or the boys?"

"No, we'll take care of that." Danny stands up giving Jamie's hand a squeeze before heading out the door.

"Danny, Linda and Jack are here!" I tell him getting to my feet.

"Why are Linda and Jack here? Where's Sean?" Jamie asks coughs shaking his form reminding us that he was still not well and should not be put under stress.

"Um…it's nothing Jamie, don't worry about it. Nicki come on sweetheart let's let Uncle Jamie get some sleep." I wake Nicki not wanting Jamie to question her.

"Erin?" Jamie asks just as we close the door.

"Come on Nicki let's go get you some different clothes." I tell her taking her hand in mine guiding her out of the hospital.

We both get in the car and make our way home my eyes wonder over at Nicki with her blood covered school uniform, the blood belonging to Grandpa, my mind going back to the memory of seeing Grandpa's dead body in the kitchen where we had made Thanksgiving dinner and shared so many laughs, Nicki's shocked, scared and terrified face. I pull off to the side of the road unable to drive any longer. I grab an empty restaurant bag getting sick, sobs shaking me. Nicki hugs me crying just as hard, both of us holding each other our previous fight forgotten just needing each other.

Jamie was right we all needed each other right now. We shouldn't be fighting we should be leaning on each other for strength for we all need it and Jamie didn't even know how much.

Frank's POV

The week only got worse after one phone call, a call informing me that my father was dead, murdered in cold blood, two shots to the back, killing him instantly. Nothing was missing from the house; everything was exactly as it was aside from the floors and walls now stained red.

There was no evidence to point to who did this, the bullets were cut from the body, and there were no fingerprints, no hair, nothing.

Walking into my house that night was like walking into a stranger's home. It no longer had that homey atmosphere it had sense the first night we brought Jamie home. It was just cold and empty, it was just another house. A house that was once filled with laughs but now only contained pain.

More than ever I ached for my family.

Jamie's POV

Grandpa was dead, it was December 1st, 24 days until Christmas, and until the day I would hopefully be released to be with my family.

Dr. Kent never wanted to flat out tell me but I am not doing much better. I still felt awful, sick and struggled to keep my food down and my breathing was now so bad I was hooked up to a ventilator. It was inserted through my windpipe during a surgery. With it in me I could barely talk. Dr. Kent assured me that it would most likely be only a week or so that I will need but I can never tell if he is telling me the truth any more or just sugar coating it.

I sleep now most of the time but it's usually drug induced because without the drugs I have nightmares and Dr. Kent fears I will accidently rip something out or do more damage to my lungs by panicking.

I lay in my bed, my one uninjured arm clutching the blanket close to me. My entire body ached; I was nauseas even though my stomach was empty.

"Jamie?" The woman that had saved me asked entering my room, her eyes filled with tears when she took in the sight of me. "How is it you look worse? I have some information for you that I thought you should have."

I try to set up so I could actually look at her but my body forced me to stay down.

"Jamie this is a DNA test from when you were just a baby, you were always so precious. The DNA test shows that Mary Reagan isn't your mother, Emily Macon is, me. You see your father was working undercover the year before you were born and we fell in love. He cheated on his sick, dying precious Mary. As we fell more deeply in love, we both decided we wanted a baby of our own, but I couldn't bare one. So your father asks his wife if she will carry a baby for us, I assured her that it would help him in his undercover mission, how could she disagree? Your father slowly began to spend more time with me and less with his wife and her kids. It was just days before you were born that your father came out that he was a cop and arrested us all. I found out later that poor Mary couldn't carry you to term so you were born premature. She died because of your birth 3 months later. Your father murdered his own wife for the job. I know this is a lot to take in but just remember I am here for you and I love you. I'll read my number and the DNA test right here and Jamie if you don't believe me just ask Dr. Kent or even better your father. Feel better sweetheart, I'll see you soon."

I watch as my 'mother' leaves my heart racing. She was lying right? Dad wouldn't lie to me like that would he? Does this mean that my mother and her family are bad people, mobsters or something? I close my eyes, unknowing that somebody was just outside the door, tears running down my cheeks as the betrayal set in.

Frank's POV

He knows. Dr. Kent called me and told me he confirmed it for Jamie yesterday, he explained that Jamie was devastated and needed time to think, which is why he didn't call me until today because he wanted Jamie's emotions to calm and to hopefully get him off the ventilator.

Never have I been so nervous to see my son. Not even the day he was born or the day they found him because I knew that he still loved me. Now I didn't even know if he would look at me. With the file clutched in my grasp and my heart aching I open Jamie's hospital door ready to explain everything to my son, give him all the information and let him decide what he wanted to do.

**Merry Christmas you guys! I hope you all had a great one and I have to apologize if this chapter is a little odd I wrote it in three different parts and in three different emotions, so sorry if it sucks. Thank you for reading and please review!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer I do not own Blue Bloods.**

**Happy New Year! This chapter is dedicated to having a good year this year for us all!**

Frank's POV

I feel Jamie's hurt filled eyes on me as I take a seat beside his bed. I look down at the file in my hands preparing myself to tell him the truth, my own heart racing with fear.

"I and your grandfather would get into arguments of when I should have told you….I always told him that you weren't ready but in actuality it was me that wasn't ready….I'm sorry I did not tell you this earlier and that you had to find out the way you did."

"Over the years I have collected anything and everything on your blood mother Emily Macon and her family. Before I get into this Jamie I want you to know that I love you, we all do and what these papers say or whatever she said to you doesn't change that…Your mother's family is one of the biggest mob families in the city. Before you were born and when Mary was sick I went undercover in the hopes of taking down the family or at least the top dog, Abraham, your grandfather. Once I got there Emily caught my eye. She looked so much like my Mary. Her eyes matched, her skin tone, her hair, they looked like they could be twins. With Mary sick I couldn't help but fall for Emily and soon my entire undercover mission revolved around my relationship with her."

"She started talking about babies and how she has always wanted one. The problem was your mother couldn't carry a child and being a Macon they only wanted blood as their family. I couldn't get an innocent women involved. I tried to put Emily off for as long as possible but she started to get suspicious and came close to ending our relationship, something I couldn't afford."

"I had told Mary about my problem over dinner, she was always so easy to talk to and Jamie she did know that I was with Emily but also knew it was all an act. Mary volunteered herself. She said it was the safest way to go, she was sick anyway and had been given a small chance of survival. She agreed to do it. During this entire time Emily doesn't know that I'm a cop or that Mary is my wife."

"When Mary was pregnant with you she loved you like she never did any of the others while she was pregnant. I think it was because she knew that she wasn't going to watch you grow up like the others and wanted to love you well she could even though you weren't even hers by blood."

"When Mary was seven months pregnant I was able to get enough on the Macon family to put them all in jail for some time. Emily was furious when she discovered I was a cop and screamed for her son, for you. She had been heard praying for my death in her cell while waiting for trial. Mary's frail body could carry you no longer and went into labor when she was close to 8 months. When Emily learned of your birth she wanted nothing but to be the one to raise you. She even went as far as fighting for custody, which brought the DNA test up. Reluctantly we had a DNA test ran and it showed that Emily was your mother and I your father. She lost the case."

"You were not a healthy baby. At first the doctors thought it was just because you were born premature but it turned out to be much more than that. They never did learn what had made you so sick, they don't even know today and it appears whatever it was it is back…Mary died 3 months after your birth, Dr. Kent assured me that your birth did not cause for if it wasn't for you I'm not sure if I could have lived with the guilt…When Mary was dying her last words were to make sure you were raised like all of her other kids, that Emily and her family never laid a finger on your head and that she wanted you to know that she was your mom. Not by blood but by love. She wanted you to know she loved you..."

"Jamie, I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I understand if you hate me and don't want to ever talk to me again but know I love you no matter what, you are my son and that the others never knew…Danny just found out and Erin still doesn't know. If you hate me and want to block me out of your life, I understand but please don't do that to the others…Here is the file Jamie and if you have any questions please don't be afraid to ask, I love you Jamie and I am proud of you." I weakly whisper the last part my voice cracking with emotion, tears running down my cheeks like a dam breaking. I get up placing the folder on the table slowly walking towards the door.

"Dad, I love you to a-and I understand. Could we look through the file together maybe tomorrow?" Jamie's frail voice filled my ears raw emotion filled it forcing the tears to run down my cheeks a little faster.

"Of course." I turn back smiling at him, letting him see the weakness in my eyes. I watch as tears stream down his cheeks like a quiet rainfall that was building into a storm.

"Dad could you maybe stay here…I don't want to be alone…" At Jamie's honest and painful words I set back down beside his bed gently stroking his hair.

He breaks down sobbing; he grabs my hand squeezing it, sobbing harder. I got up from the chair and sat beside him on the bed pulling him into my arms, running my hands up and down his trembling back.

I pull him close my own tears falling, tears from the pain of the last 27 years, tears for my father, Mary, and Joe, tears of worry for Sean and tears of pain for the son I held, he would never be the same again, he would need us and we would need him. For the next year would be harder that any of us could ever have imagined but for now I just hold my son and let the pain of the past 27 years fall.

Danny's POV

I set in the kitchen sipping coffee with Linda leaning against the counter starring off into space, her arms crossed pain in her eyes.

"Jamie, Sean and Gramps…Danny somebody is targeting our family and I'll be damned if I just stand by! I will not let any more harm come to my family and if that means leaving the city then so be it!" she suddenly bursts sobbing, no tears just the painful sound of tearless sobs.

"Linda we can't leave! Do you think they'd stop there? They'd find us either way! We need to stick together! Taking the boys away from the city and the family they know in love will only do more harm than good!" I snap anger filling me.

"I will not set in this damn house well you're at work waiting for somebody to hurt me and Jack! I already might lose one baby!" she screams at me throwing an empty pop bottle falling to the floor sobbing her face buried in her hands.

I fall down beside her hugging her as she sobs with Jack appearing from around the corner wrapping his arms around us both.

After setting like that for what feels like hours I pull out my phone calling Erin and my dad deciding to take advantage of our strength.

"Dad, how do you feel about your grandkids and kids living with you for a while?"


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer I do not own Blue Bloods.**

Erin's POV

Danny's idea of us all staying at Dad's till this all settled brought us all comfort knowing we had each other and we would not ever be alone.

"I am not letting Jack sleep downstairs. If somebody was to get into the house he would be the first they would see." Linda argues as we try to decide where everybody would be sleeping.

"I agree. The kids can sleep in Grandpa's old room. There is plenty of room for a sleeping bag and one of them can sleep in the bed." I offer, my heart dropping at the thought that Gramps would not be here during this difficult time. At least with the kids in his room they will be watched over by him.

"That makes me feel a little better." Linda visibly relaxes pulling Jack in close to her, planting a kiss on his head making him squirm.

"Erin you can sleep in your old room, and Danny, Linda you can sleep in Jamie's old room." Dad directs us even though his mind was clearly elsewhere.

"Where will Uncle Jamie sleep?" Jack asks the question that was on all of our minds. Jamie may not be home for another week or two but he would need a place to sleep with a bed, he could not sleep on the floor or the couch.

"He'll sleep in my room with me. He can have the bed I'll sleep on the floor with a blown up air mattress." Dad clearly did not want Jamie far from him. Whatever happened when he last visited Jamie had clearly increased his love and protectiveness for him, making me curious. What exactly had they talked about?

"Sounds good to me, Sean can sleep with the other kids in Gramp's room." Danny added clearly trying to take the attention off of dad.

We split up after that heading in different directions. As I settle into my old room I determine that I will find out what is going on. There was clearly something going on with Jamie that only Dad and Danny knew about.

Danny's POV

"How'd it go?" I ask the figure that sat on the bed his eyes closed and head bowed.

"He was devastated but he seems to need me know more than ever…it's strange I thought he would have hated me…he's a wreck Danny. What they did to him and what I did…he's hiding it but the walls are slowly caving…he won't ever be the same." My dad's voice was full of pain and longing for the times before all this pain.

"How is he taking Gramp's death?" I ask setting down beside my dad my own head bowed my eyes glaring holes into the floor for putting my family through this pain.

"Not great. It was your grandfather, grandmother and I that raised him. Of all you kids he was the closest to your grandfather, he's trying not to show it but he's falling apart. Dr. Kent is no longer sure of when he will be able to come home; he's not doing much better if any. He's still so sick and in so much pain. He can't put any weight on his legs, in fear of damaging them more; Dr. Kent hasn't told Jamie this but there is a rather large chance that Jamie will never be cleared for duty. His lungs and legs may be past repair not to mention him being so sick, if it's anything like before…" For the first time my father looks helpless, and hopeless.

"Dad what else is going on?" I ask looking into my father's tear filled eyes.

"Of all you older kids, you were the one that has always known that I worry about Jamie a little more than I should. I fear what Emily will do. Jamie didn't fall into her arms like she wanted instead he seems to need me now more than ever…when she discovers this I am afraid of what she will do…and Jamie's captor's there were four…I told Jamie that they were all dead but I lied…Danny only three of them are dead one of them was hit but his body was never found…"

"Dad I have been a detective for a long time now and I know when somebody isn't telling me the entire truth…what did this guy do to Jamie?" I ask my heart racing fearing the worse.

"You take care of your kids, Danny. I'll take care of Jamie. Go back to Linda and Jack I'll be fine." My dad doesn't look at me again as he orders me out of the room, I had hit a soft spot and my dad's refusal only confirmed my fears. Somebody had raped my little brother and they were still on the loose.

Three days later, the day of Henry's funeral

Linda's POV

We had just gotten to the hospital, all of us dressed in black. I help Sean change from his hospital gown into his tux I had carefully ironed the night before. Sean has finally been discharged but had strict orders to rest and take it easy, he was thrilled to learn that he wouldn't be going to school for another week. As I help him with his tie I bite back tears. It seemed so unfair that he had to go from being in the hospital to going to a funeral, when he should be happy to be free and be getting better we're all off to burry another loved one.

"Mom I'm cold." Sean whimpers wrapping his arms around himself.

"Here sweetheart, put your jacket on. We'll only stay for the service and to say goodbye to Grandpa Henry then me and you will go home." I promise him knowing he needs proper rest.

"Hey kiddo, you ready to get out of this place?" Danny asks appearing inside the room with Jack stiffly in his own tux.

"Yeah, Dad how did Grandpa Henry die?" Sean asks his father his eyes wide and tears filling them.

"G-Grandpa Henry was shot by a very bad man. I and Maria are doing everything to find out who did this." Danny hugs Sean tightly getting down on his level.

"Grandpa Henry is ok though, Sean. He's back with Grandma Betty and Grandma Mary. He's up in heaven with Uncle Joe now playing poker and making Sunday dinner for them all to enjoy." Danny gives are sobbing son one last hug before getting to his feet.

"My Dad and I are going to visit Jamie before heading out, we'll meet you guys there." He kisses me goodbye and gives the boys one more hug before heading out to see his brother.

As Erin and I head over to the funeral home with the kids I can't shake the fear that ran through my veins, with all of us in an open public place together at the same time it just couldn't end well.

Danny's POV

Dr. Kent was just leaving Jamie's room when we approached it.

"Is there a chance we could kidnap Jamie for the day, today's my dad's funeral and Jamie needs the closure." I hear my dad say to Dr. Kent as I enter Jamie's room. I half expected to find him asleep but he's wide awake, his eyes focused on the snow falling outside coating the beautiful city of New York.

"Shouldn't you be at Grandpa's funeral?" Jamie asks his eyes not leaving the window as tears fall down his cheeks.

"We're getting ready to leave. We just wanted to stop by and see how you were doing." I lie not wanting to get his hopes up when there was still a chance that the doctor would say no.

Jamie doesn't acknowledge my response his eyes still focused on the snow.

"It's hard to imagine that Christmas is approaching. I never thought a couple of months could change your outlook of life so much. Feels like everything has changed, Grandpa's gone, I'm only your half-brother, I find out somebody had kidnapped my nephews and that Sean was in the hospital though a nurse, my mom's a psychotic murderer, and somebody out in the city I love is trying to tare the last true thing in my life apart." He whispers his voice not filled with pain or any other emotion but emptiness, he just sounded drained and tired.

I knew in that moment that whatever I was to say next wouldn't make a difference, Jamie didn't need empty words, he needed so much more. He needed somebody to be there for him, to be that hand that pulls him back out this darkness that had swallowed him, for his whole world was falling apart. I still had the promise of the job, my kids, and Linda but Jamie doesn't have that. He doesn't know if he will have the job when he finally leaves this place, he has no wife or kids to lean on; he has been forced to question himself and his entire life. My brother is far stronger than I ever gave him credit for…

"Come on Jamie, you're being discharged." Dad enters with Dr. Kent close behind him.

"What?" Jamie asks in shock, watching as Dr. Kent checks his vitals one more time and signing some papers, handing my father prescriptions for Jamie.

"You're being discharged. I'll see you next week Monday bright and early though. I want you to be honest with your dad and tell him if you feel any worse. You will need plenty of rest, you can't put ANY weight on your legs until I clear you for the surgery, take it easy on what you eat, I gave your father a list of things you should avoid and another list of things he should stick to. You keep this inhaler with you at all times until I tell you different. Don't push yourself. You need to take things slowly. Your ribs are still going to be tender, and please don't try to stretch yourself to much. You're still healing from a couple of the surgeries and you really don't need those stiches ripped open and Jamie I also gave your father a list of psychologist that are very good. I strongly recommend you see one. Somebody that has been through the torture and….life difficulties would need the help, there is no reason to be ashamed, please take it into consideration. I wish you the best Jamie. I had planned on keeping you another week but there really is no point there is nothing more I can do, all keeping you here is doing is hurting you more and burning a hole in your wallet. You need your family right now." Dr. Kent squeezes Jamie's uninjured shoulder giving him a smile before heading out leaving just Jamie, Dad, I and a nurse.

"Do you want to go to your grandfather's funeral or just go home?" Dad asks as the nurse unhooks Jamie from the machines helping him set up.

"Grandpa's funeral please, I need to see him one last time." Jamie gasps out as he sets up moving himself so that his feet are dangling over the edge of the bed.

"I figured you would say that, here I brought your formal uniform. When we get home you can change into some more comfortable clothes and get some rest. You say the word and we'll slip out. There are going to be a lot of people there are going to want to talk to you, if you don't want to stay just say so." Dad assures Jamie helping him carefully undress and into his uniform.

"Dad I'll be fine but I'll keep that in mind." Jamie promises sliding into his pants with dad's help. I help him put his shirt on, buttoning it carefully so I don't brush a tender spot.

After getting dressed and packing all of his things he slides into the wheelchair that was waiting for him.

"Thank you Jackie." My dad smiles taking control of the wheelchair pushing Jamie out of the hospital.

We get Jamie into the car without a problem taking the rental wheelchair with us.  
Jamie sets in silence in the back his eyes focused again on the outside covering his mouth as coughs shake his body.

I didn't have to look at my dad to know he was worried, not just about Jamie but what would happen next.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer I do not own Blue Bloods.**

Jamie's POV

The funeral home was crowded, filled with a sea of blue. There were countless NYPD of various ranks chatting about. Many I recognized from my own experience on the job, others I recognized as friends of the family, remembering them from my childhood but there were a few I did not recognize at all.

My nerves were on edge not because of the questioning from fellow officers, but the reporters camped out on the sidewalk. Why couldn't they all just leave us alone?

"Jamie? What are you doing here? I thought you weren't going to be released for another week." Erin greets taking my free hand in hers, squeezing it tightly in her grip tears in her eyes.

"Dad and Danny bailed me out early, couldn't miss grandpa's farewell." I smile up at her knowing it didn't quite meet my eyes.

"I'm just glad we're all here." Erin smiles up at Danny, who was pushing my chair sense I could not get the hang of doing it one handed.

Before Danny can say anything he is kissed by Linda and hugged by the boys.

I could see dad talking to an old NYPD friend a ways away watching the situation play out, with a ghost of a smile.

"Jamie!" Janko's familiar voice rings out just as she comes over hugging me lightly, cautious of my many wounds.

"How are you?" she asks.

"I'm alive." I reply not telling her about the aches or pains and especially not about the nightmares, the worries and nerves.

"From what people have been saying you're lucky to be alive." Her eyes stayed locked on mine making me fidget.

"I suppose that depends on the day." I mumble to myself, praying she didn't hear.

"Jamie, I'm here for you if you need anything, we're partners after all and that's what partners do." She smiles at me concern evident.

"Erin, take Jamie." Danny walks away heading over to some other detectives well we wait for the service to start, abandoning me.

"Damn it Danny!" I hear Erin whisper under her breath thinking I didn't hear. As if sensing my hurt Dad walks over to me and Erin grabbing the handles of my chair.

"Go talk to Lisa; I'll take care of Jamie." Dad assured a relived Erin. Taking advantage of it Erin my dad a grateful smile and my shoulder a squeeze before taking off.

"I feel like I'm nothing but a burden." I softly say so that Dad is the only one that can hear.

"Just say the word and we can go home." He promised placing a kind hand on my shoulder his dark eyes filled with emotion that I could not quite identify.

"No I want to stay for the service, for Grandpa but right afterwards I would like to go home, I'm exhausted and starting to feel sick." I reply trying to hide just how sick I felt.

"_Right _after we'll leave, I'm not blind Jamie, you're getting worse." With that dad leads me over to Renzulli.

Linda's POV

I wanted it to end. I missed Henry and wanted to give him the proper burial but I wanted my kids safe. I kept them close, afraid that if I let them out of my sight I'll lose them forever.

There were so many people, setting my nerves on edge. Anybody could have snuck in.

My eyes never leave Jack and Sean, my only half processing the conversation going on around me.

? POV

Officers chatted around uncaring, unknowing. My eyes scan the area looking for any of their faces.

Nicki Reagan stood by her mother silently watching her mother speak, tears in her eyes oouring down her cheeks, showing her weakness, allowing the walls to crack, feeding me her fear her pain.

Linda stood with her hand on her sons' shoulders paranoia filling her, her body tense. Her fear make chills of excitement run up my spine. I caused this fear, their fear.

My eyes land on the oldest boy, Jack, anger filling me. That little bastard ruined my plan!

I look away not wanting to ruin the new plan, my eyes landing on the young man in a wheelchair with his father hovering over him protectively always keeping an eye open, even if the son didn't know it.

Even I could tell Jamie was not well. His body coated in sweat, fever raging and exhaustion in his eyes. Wonder of what caused this reaction filled my mind, was it something his captors did to him?

Daniel Reagan catches my eye next as he talks loudly with a group of detectives. Anger spiked my blood, watching him, he was always so cocky, stubborn and an ass, with too much pride.

Familiar brown eyes land on mine, telling me the show was about to begin.

Emily's POV

Sunglasses on, little black dress and tall black heels were my cover, hiding me from the wondering eye.

My eyes stayed on Jamie anger filling me. He knows now but yet he chooses his father, if he wouldn't come to me, I'll come to him.

Frank's POV

The service has begun. I sat next to Jamie's chair, listening to the father, my eyes on my dad lying in his casket peacefully.

I keep my hand placed on Jamie's wheelchair as if to make sure doesn't disappear and to keep an eye on his health.

I would not have taken Jamie to the service if I did not have to, he deserved to say goodbye and this was his only chance. But yet Jamie has a visible fever, was in pain and just wasn't feeling well over all. He needs to go home and soon.

With 20 minutes left in the service and Jamie visibly needing rest I had to resist the urge to sneak out with Jamie and take him home, tucking him safely in bed.

It came time for me to speak, reluctantly I leave Jamie's side which Erin quickly replaced her hand finding Jamie's instantly.

Numbly I start my speech, tears falling as I furthered, knowing my father really was gone, and never returning just like my mom, Joe and Mary.

#####################################################################################

Jamie's POV

The service has ended. I could barely keep my eyes open now; it seemed to be a constant battle between me and the need to sleep.

"I'm going to take Jamie home, mill around as much as you like, Jamie shouldn't have been here this long." I hear my Dad's comforting voice what sounds like feet away.

"See you at home, Dad. We'll clean everything up here, you just worry about Jamie." Erin says from behind me. I feel her gentle hand brush my shoulder and feel her warm lips press against my forehead.

"Thank you, sweetheart." My dad's strong comforting voice I hear again, my eyes now fully closed unable to fight sleep any longer.

Frank's POV

My security and Garret compiled me to the house. With Garret's help getting an unconscious Jamie settled on the couch was easy.

I tuck blankets around Jamie checking his temperature one last time. It read 102 degrees. With a reluctant sigh I get to my feet, leaving a bottle of water on the coffee table beside him, a bucket on the floor by his head in case he got sick and the TV low for some background noise.

I join Garrett and Baker in the kitchen setting down at the table, grabbing my coffee mug.

"It's clear that this person is not just targeting one person in the family, making me believe that it might not be somebody one of you arrested. Sir, leads are pointing to a dirty cop."

Jamie's POV

_His hand creeps up my leg, nearing the area we are taught is private._

"_It's ok Jamie, I won't hurt you I love you." Jake's voice echoes in my mind, as he grabs me. _

_I let out a shriek when I feel the knife pierce my skin again and again._

My eyes open, sweat soaking the blankets beneath me. I get sick over the side of the couch, the heaving making my entire body ache.

I lay back panting, closing my eyes, wishing it all away, as I try to pull myself together. I thought another nightmare sucked me up when I heard the reported say something that made my nightmare seem like a dream reality.

"St. John church is in flames, those that attended the former PC's funeral are believed to be still inside." 


End file.
